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ic inbox [cerealia]
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| Hello, this is Emily! You're obviously an idiot who can't even come see someone in person if it's important, but I'll take pity on you anyways. Leave a message and I'll tell the wonderful and charming Mr. Break about it if it's worth it! [are you sure you even want to leave a message now] [action/video/voice/text welcome!] |
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To Sir Xerxes Break,
I am writing you this day in order to apologize for my behavior towards you several days prior. As I'm certain you recall it with clarity, I won't recount what I did. My actions were completely inexcusable, I'm aware; to threaten a man, blind, lost, and looking for his friend, is despicable. Nonetheless, I feel I must let you know that I would never have done such a thing in my right mind.
At the time, I was overcome by a peculiar sense of paranoia that caused me to blindly defend my friend and master, apparently to the point of violence. While your intrustion was rather unwelcome, it didn't warrant such threats from my part. I apologize from the bottom of my heart, for speaking to you rudely, for not helping you in your search, and, most of all, for threatening you with a weapon - all things I would normally never do, I assure you.
If you cannot forgive me, I will understand perfectly, but I at least hope you will read my words.
Deepest apologies,
Zara Skeens
[ ... he was so frantic in writing this up that he forgot being blind meant Break logically wouldn't be able to read this normally. ]
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[ This is unfortunately not a sentiment Break exactly shares, because once the message is dictated to him, he's laughing at it. Especially since he focuses with laser precision on one little detail in particular. He was a servant, so in Break's mind, it all fits together.
Another Gilbert has appeared.
He has to send a message back, of course, and he happily dictates it back. ]
Apology accepted, and forgiveness granted. My, you really were frightening, though! I thought I was going to have to cut you down.
Just kidding! ✩
A servant's devotion really is something. ╮(─▽─)╭
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Thank you. I'm glad you understand, sir. Be assured my "servant's devotion" isn't usually so intense.
Did you ever find who you were looking for?
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But I did find him, yes. Luckily, one of the cupboards led me to a mutual acquaintance, so we were able to track him down!
[ re: emojigeddon ]
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imagining break going HEART out loud is really funny
I see. Are you a knight-captain, perhaps?
hearto
Something like that. [ Not that it's translated in text, but Break actually say that more more seriously. A knight-captain... It's been a long time since anyone called him a knight. ]
But Oz was very helpful, so there's no need to worry! Gilbert is Oz's servant, so of course he would know where that Seaweed Head was hiding~.
smh!!
[ WHY DOES NOBODY TELL HIM THESE THINGS ]
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He is next in line to become a duke, as a matter of fact.
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He didn't tell me that.
[ you can almost sense the irritation... why is everyone here some kind of royalty and why do none of them tell him that until afterwards ]
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In that case, it's all right. I only worried that I'd offended him.
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[ xerxes "rude as hell" break
but considering oz is also friends with xerxes "rude as hell" break, it's legit ]
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That's not bad. I find his friendliness quite charming.
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The more babysitters the better, right?
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[ everyone has gotten into awful trouble just by being here... ]
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[ because oz is a dang moron ]
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[ himself included... ]
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I understand.
If it would make it up to you in some way, I'd be happy to keep an eye on him.
Action/mailbox delivery
Outside he'll find an anonymous gift basket. Inside is an assortment of different chocolates and candies, that any sugar addict would drool over. One thing being a large bag of gummy bears. On top will be a note that says "Enjoy!".
Little does Break know that all of the candies are sugar-free and some of the grosses ones she could find and taste. Hope you enjoy this present, Hatter.]
text... god
[How's that for some hideous gushy friendship bullshit???]
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[ you're unleashing a hellion monster, oz, i hope you're prepared ]
audio;
[ continued... because let's be real, those cats were the worst. All one-hundred of them. Fixing his device after that was not a great experience, either...
And while he's at ... ]
And where the hell is everyone getting these x-rays done? [ Gil doesn't get the meaning of a chain letter, obviously, but while he let it go from from Oz (it was kind of endearing if not slightly morose reading his text but then Emily went made it very not so much...), the physically bigger troll in his life isn't getting off so easy...(?!)
Just this type of mentality probably can only suggest the disaster that could happen in this conversation. ]
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[ That sort of laugh to start in response pretty much lets Gilbert know with no doubts whatsoever that he's in for an annoying conversation, though admittedly, most are with Break. Still. ]
Now, now, you don't need to feel so victimized, Gilbert~. I am bored and felt like teaching Oz a little lesson, so I sent that to everyone! It's not just you. ♥
[ how is that reassuring ]
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[ so instead of just him being victimized alone, Break victimized the entire population...?! ]
What kind of lesson are you trying to teach here, anyway?
[ he doesn't see how this teaches anything... Other than Break went from the original message that was slightly morose in terms of heart breaking to his modified version where it's kind of sort of maybe killing them via heart failure... ]
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[ That's really what it boils down to... Break just massively overreacts to hellion standoffs. ]
The original was pretty terrible, so I wanted to make sure he wouldn't send more.
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Gil is silent a moment now, because he doesn't want to ask... because he shouldn't have a problem figuring the answer out, right? It's so obvious... so obvious and Gilbert knows... he does... He doesn't need— ]
Okay...
. . .
...and this teaches Oz a lesson how, again?
[ okay yeah no he doesn't know at all and can't help himself. Especially when he's pretty sure the time Break trolled his inbox with cats Oz thought he would help and try to out spam Break, too... ]
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Oh, because I'm telling everyone that asks that Oz started my message, of course. He's a clever kid. He'll talk his way out of all the trouble he's getting into.
[ Break hums lowly and thoughtfully, but then cackles before he adds: ]
Probably, at least.
1/3
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BREAK, NO!
[ he foresees this to only end with in his own tears because somehow when Oz and Break are involved, the only one who does anything close to 'lesson learning suffering' is Gil. ]
Don't you know people here are CRAZY? There are some that make your tendencies look acceptable!
[ and cupboard creeping should never ever have a place in any society as anything within an 'acceptable' range. ]
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Now you're just being rude, brat.
[ And putting Oz in danger isn't rude at all... But. It's quick to go back to that singsong, whimsical tone, and you can almost imagine Break waving a sleeve as if to say "don't worry." ]
No crazier than people we know at home, Gilbert~. Besides, if there's actually a problem, I'll take care of it. ♥
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At the very least, he doesn't doubt that Break will step in but does it truly need to get that far in the first place?
...it's Break, of course it has to. And Gil isn't willing to argue with Break about it if only because he can't honestly think they'll believe Break in the first place...
But wait. ]
—When you say everyone, do you literally mean everyone?
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[ It's upsetting how quickly that stupid, clownish chime returns to his voice, especially when it's over such a dire (???) matter. Break laughs, then shifts to a languid drawl as he continues. ]
Some people are already sending it along, so it is a success, I think.
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...Even the CERES employees?
[ did he really send it to the ceo.
oh god, break totally sent a creepy chain mail letter to the ceo of the company responsible for their abductions... ]
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[ of course he did... why wouldn't he... annoying their captors into just sending them back home is a totally viable solution to this problem. ]
audio
That was sorta cute, in a creepy way. Can I hire ya t'creep out my partner if he shows up here? It'd be hilarious. But y'done sneakin' into people's house?
voice;
[ There's a questioning tone in Break's voice when he replies, because of course, nothing is ever simple with Break. ]
I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm afraid.
voice;
A'right. Want me to send it t'ya to remind ya?
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[ You should just quit while you're ahead... ]
12/23, late night, action
A gentle rapping followed, but the man did not stay. For, being caught amidst a prank was simply not allowed!
Should Break be intrigued enough to untie the glittery bows and peel away the bright, Santastical wrappings, he would find the most innocent looking of gifts. It might even be sweet, should he dare to try some, but it may or may not be laden with a spicy, explosive surprise....]
(ooc warning: the cake may make the eater wish they were dead in the aftermath of consuming. They won't be dead, but they may regret a few actions that effectively cursed the whole population via chainmail.]